Tornado of Information

Hey everyone, this week has been crazy because Steph has started her second block of exams. This means that I am “Mr. Housewife” taking care of all that needs taking care of. I also learned something about embryology. A mutation in the Filamin-1 gene can cause improper neuronal cortical migration, resulting in periventricular heterotopia. Chris and I hung out yesterday and I almost beat him in NCAA Football ‘07. I was USC – strong passing game. I caught up on some tv shows during our (Steph’s) study breaks. BIG NEWS: I was hired as a temp at Dunder Mifflin Infinity Chattanooga, TN Branch! Guy and I are employees there. I earned 45 Schrute Bucks so far. Good times. Steph and I are going to a “End-of-2nd-block-exams-Halloween-party” on Friday and we are in desperate need of costumes. Anyone have any suggestions? I thought about going as Jim and Pam from the office, but I don’t look anything like Pam. I have 14 guitar students this week. Holy Smokes! That’s a lot. It’s great though; good kids. Tonight I’m going to go hang with my parents for a little “Scare the Trick-or-Treaters Action”. I wanted to make a paper-mache limb growing out of my head, but I don’t remember how to construct it. Plus, I don’t know how I will fasten it. Tomorrow, I have to get my Tetanus shot updated, and I am not particularly looking forward to that. Anyway, I gotta go make some lunch. Thanks for wasting your time learning about my week.

Open For Discussion

Ok, so here’s something I’ve been struggling with. Not “struggling” like I have a problem, struggling like not sure what to think. Here it is.

To lay the ground work, first we must cover the platform as to which Jesus’ message sits on. Jesus’ message was revolutionary, no doubt. Everything he talked about and challenged us while he was here on earth was crazy and almost laughable. From everything to hanging out with prostitutes, giving to the needy, healing the sick, having dinner with the scum of society, etc. It’s pretty tough to engage that lifestyle even today. Today, I am simply presenting one, small but significant, part in Jesus’ entire message. I will get to it in a second.

As far as the platform goes, the way I see it, there are two schools of thought. 1) Jesus meant for his message to be on a localized, personal level, where much of his teaching is to guide us in our relationships around us; not much involvement in the government. 2) Jesus meant for his message to not only be personal, but WORLDWIDE, infiltrating every single aspect of culture, economics, and government. I believe it is worldwide. Jesus went head-to-head with the government and cultural standards; I don’t see how his message could be anything less than a globalized approach. Do you agree?

The small part of His message that I am struggling with is the dichotomy of fiighting social injustice and making peace with enemies. Some of Jesus’ greatest challenges were to stand up and fight social injustice. Loving the widows, orphans, and homeless. The thing is, social injustice does not just stop with people taking advantage of widows. It starts there. All over the world there are people groups and cultures being oppressed and killed. Slavery, child sex-traffic, forced prostitution, genocide, etc. happens all over the world. Think back a little over 60 years ago. Our world saw one of the greatest genocides when Hitler’s regime murdered between 9 and 11 million people.

At the same time Jesus challenges us to fight social injustice (I believe on a worldwide scale), he challenges us to avoid war by making peace and “loving our enemies”. I believe that war is the last answer to any conflict, but at the same time, where do we draw the line? In this day and age, how do we balance fighting oppression and genocide without going to war? I believe that God answers prayer. I know that Moses begged Pharaoh seven times (including plagues) and God finally set the Israelites free. I also know that President Ahmadinejad (Iran) wants to wipe Israel off the face of the earth.

We can pray for our enemies. I’m not the best at this and will continue to be more consistent. But how do we love our enemies if our enemies are the ones we are supposed to stand up to? Obviously, some battles can be fought without the sword, but what about the Hilter’s and the Ahmadinejad’s? The leaders whose beliefs are to destroy the people who do not believe what they believe. Do we pray and talk to them as they destroy lives? Do we send our military knowing more innocent lives will be killed in the process of stopping the enemy? How do we balance fighting social injustice and loving our enemies on a global platform?

I’d like to know what you think.

The Second Best Thing In Our Apartment

I am excited.

As you all know, the most amazing, first-place “thing” in our apartment is the noble Belgian Waffle maker. Up until last night, the Zen water fountain held the Silver Medal. The new second-place trophy goes to our television. You’re probably thinking, “What the heck…if the TV was that good, it would have been in second place all along…blah blah…” Well, my friends, I have found a NEW FEATURE on this boob tube that frees our household from the agony, stress, and anguish over the remote control. See, up until this point, Steph and I always had to negotiate how long I could watch sports during the commercials of Greys Anatomy (Why is Grey’s NOT on the Tivo? 1) I don’t like it, and 2) The Office trumps). Now…we have…wait for it…there needs to be more of a build up. Hold on. *12 second pause* The Silver Medal goes to…SPLIT SCREEN TELEVISION!!!!!!

Ok, your reaction wasn’t near what I was hoping for. But get this…NOW, she can have Grey’s on at the same time I am watching the Rockies tromp the D-backs in the NLCS! Crazy, I know. All you do is press a single button, select which side of the split you want and type the channel. Flip back and forth between the screens for the individual channel’s audio. Two different channels, same television, on at once. Genius.

I think I’m going to go play with it right now…

Oh yeah, one more thing. You can be watching your show and pull up a sidescreen that scrolls through the channels and actually SHOWS what’s on the screen. So much better than a guide…who doesn’t like pictures?

The Metro Fetor

“Oh man…this is bad. Repulsive, nauseating, and unpalatable.” These were the words pouring out of my mouth approximately 1:06 P.M. yesterday. Let me back up.

I flew back from Little Rock yesterday morning because the boys and I were playing a couple times out there. Diehlio (Chris) picked me up from the airport (Steph had class) around 9:30 A.M. and we headed back to to the apartment to hang for a while. My plan was to go meet Steph up at the school for lunch. I hadn’t seen her in a few days and I knew a Homemade Chaddy Frank Chicken Quesadilla (it is trademarked) would not only impress my wife, but would help her through the rest of the day. So, as soon as I finished whippin’ it up, Diehls and I headed down to catch the Metro Rail. Quick timeout: You’re probably thinking, “Why are you taking the train, Chad?” I’m so glad you asked, altruistic reader. The reason why I do not drive down to the school is because 1) Parking is a nightmare, 2) Parking costs $10, 3) Parking is a nightmare.

Time in. Chris and I walked down to the cross walk and waited to cross. Our apartment complex must have been over-watering their flowers because there was a lake of water on the side of the curb. You know that part in Zoolander where Derek gets drenched by the puddle of water from the speeding car? Yeah…that happened to us. The car drove, water splashed, Diehl and I sprayed. Unfortunately, that is not the disgusting part of the story. Oh, how I wish it was.

I’ll fast forward and get to the juicy stuff (aw…gross). Chris and I made it to the school. Steph and I hugged and kissed. I surprised her with the ‘dilla (which was dripping with awesome). Lunch was great. Steph walked back to class. Chris and I walked back to get on the fascinating Metro Rail.

Play.

I am a very aware person. What I mean is, I like to look around and be familiar with my surroundings at all times. The Metro was no different. I look, analyze, and interrogate (It’s more of an internal interrogation of myself. For example, “Chad, if that dude in the gray trench coat tries to steal that sweet old lady’s purse, what will you do? Well, I would use the ancient art of Savate to neutralize the assailant.”) to keep myself aware and free of surprise. Nothing could have prepared me for this.

We were almost to our stop when tragically and abrubtly we engaged the most treacherous odor I have ever smelled in my life. The smell was a combination of mildew, cat urine, melted plastic, and baked onion. My feeble mind cannot conjur up the sufficient diction needed to impart the true odor. We looked at each other, looked around, and could not find where this stench was coming from. Holy cow. HOLY COW.

I looked to my left and saw a young woman walk up to the front of the bus. I could’ve sworn she had tears in her eyes. She sat down. My dire need for comprehending this situation overtook my person. I made eye contact with her and gave her a bold look that spoke, “Do you have any idea where this funk is coming from??? Please help.” Her eyes were as wide as ping pong balls as she gently pointed behind Chris and I. Immediately, in the most conspicuous manner possible, I turned and looked. To my horror I saw a well-off, middle aged man with his BARE left foot in his hands! Both shoes off, feet exposed. My initial reaction was heartbreak, because I thought it was a homeless person with a severe foot disease. My second reaction was disgust, because I didn’t think this man was homeless. He was decently dressed, had his cell phone up to his ear, cased laptop next to him, and some medicated foot cream that he was applying to his feet on the PUBLIC METRO RAIL. “Oh man…this is bad.”

I went to bed last night a different person having experienced that smell. I DO feel bad for this man, and I really hope that his feet get taken care of. For his sake and all of ours.

Chad’s Top Fall Season T.V. Shows (including guilty pleasures)

Ok, the fall television show season has been underway for a bit now. I think it’s important that we all share what we fill our time and Tivos with. I know some of you may be alarmed at the amount of TV I watch, but I don’t actually watch much TV outside of these shows. I am an intentional TV watcher (ITVW). So, without wasting any more time, I’ll get started. These are NOT in any particular order (maybe chronoligically because that’s how I remember them). Oh yeah, I am not saying which ones are my guilty pleasures…although it’s probably not hard to figure out…

1. Chuck – Pretty humorous show about a “cool” nerd with government secrets
2. How I Met Your Mother – Hilarious show; kinda like Friends, but way better
3. Life – KILLER show about detective stuff; Damian Lewis is one of my favorite actors
4. Big Bang Theory – Goofy, witty show about nerds that don’t do anything but be nerds
5. House – Hugh Laurie, how can you NOT like this show?
6. Criminal Minds – Creepy and intriguing
7. Friday Night Lights – Texas high school football drama. Classic.
8. The Office – Duh…

Altogether it’s only about 7 hours of TV per week. Not bad. I occasionally watch some football, so a little more here or there. Feel free to drop in your shows list (if you watch TV). Oh yeah, if wrestling or “The Hills” is in your list, don’t bother commmenting. Just kidding…no discrimination here.

Chad Martin, Professor De La Six-String

I have the privilege of traveling 2/3 of the year with my boys in Spur. It is a blessing to be able to live my dream with the support of my wife, family, and friends. We spend a great amount of time on the road during the fall and spring, and it is usually during the weekends or latter part of each week. So…as my incredibly studious wife is working hard learning about the human body and how to fight infectious disease, I have found an outlet for me to work, invest, and make a little extra coinage during the week. This, my friends, is teaching young whipper-snappers how to play the ol’ six-string. Yes ma’am. By weekend, I am guitar player and by weekday, I am guitar teacher.

I never imagined myself as a teacher in ANY form. I thought once about giving some batting lessons (no F.O.D. Field jokes, please) but never got serious about it. Needless to say, I have found a second passion of mine that I am quickly becoming proud of. I get to teach what I love and invest time into young players. Of course, these guitar lessons are nothing short of God pouring out his copious blessing on my and Steph’s life. I thank Him every day for my students.

In the near future I will post pictures and stories of my rock star students! They are all so different, yet so much fun! Ten out of my twelve students are elementary students! How great is that!? Wish I would’ve started that early…

The best part about it is that all of my students call me Professor Martin. Yeah I’m kidding. But WOULD be sweet, right? Yeah…it would. Anyway, more stories to come. Have a good one.

Studying, Studying, Studying

Hey friends. Not much going on here…oh wait, yeah there is. Steph is in the middle of her 1st block of exams and boy is it stressful! She is doing an amazing job of handling the work. She smoked her first three exams, and she has two more to go! So proud of her… Yesterday she had a slight break which was terrific (by slight I mean, not enough time to watch a good Alfred Hitchcock. Oh wait, ALL Hitchcock’s are good – beside the point). We relaxed. Great times. Today it’s crunch-time. She has one exam today and then another tomorrow. Almost done!

As far as Chad’s activities (Don’t know why it was necessary to speak in 3rd person), I have four guitar lessons to teach, some sweet guitar tracks to lie down on the ol’ ProTools rig, and some dinner to eat with my boy Chris (Dieh-lios, Diehl-skees, Diehl-zees, or any cool suffix to slap on the back of Diehl). If you don’t know, “Diehl” is his last name. Not too quick on the up-take. It’s cool. I’m working hard too. Not.

I have rambled far too long. Time to take a shower.

Major Props to My Wife…

Medical school is the most time-consuming and challenging educational undertaking on the planet. Hands down. Steph is a stud (studet). She has been in school exactly 5 weeks now. I have worked a simple calculation to roughly estimate that she has spent around 360 hours in the last month either at school, outside lectures, or studying at home. 360 HOURS of LEARNING!!! I don’t think I spent that much time in my four years at MTSU.

I am out with the band this weekend and she is home studying for her first block of exams this coming week. Many TESTS. So…I just wanted to take a moment and give her all of my encouragement. She is a rockstar…that lives with books…and cadavers. I love her and am so proud of her! Rock those tests, baby!!

A YouTube Education

Here’s the thing. I (and probably a lot of erudite folks) have taken a lot of flak for “spending 7 hours in one day on YouTube!” Like that’s even a big deal!? A little slack would be appreciated. Anyway, today I have decided to share a few nuggets of the type of knowledge I acquired from YOUTUBE. Disclaimer: If you are already “educated” on some of these, please don’t email me and make me feel like a vacuous imbecil. Thanks.

Chad’s YouTube Education:

1. How to build a pinata
2. Time Travel and Einstien’s Theory of Relativity
3. How to clean up a crime scene
4. How to serve a heater (tennis)
5. The process of sea turtles laying eggs in the Galapagos
6. Termites
7. Moon cycles effects on tides
8. How to make a paper blow-dart gun
9. How to service a radiator
10. How to play the guitar
11. How NOT to play the guitar
12. Franchising businesses globally
13. How to sew on a button
14. Bermuda Grass
15. How to bias an amplifier using a Bias Master
16. Stock market technical analysis
17. Tornado kick/360 roundhouse
18. Back Handspring
19. OJ’s new charges
20. How to shoot an antelope at 1000 yards
21. How to waste your time on YouTube

Don’t say I don’t learn when my face is glued to a computer screen for prolonged periods of time. I will provide a more exhaustive list when I learn more.

Dog-Sitter

So, the past two days have been filled with fun, joy, laughter, video games, and dog-sitting. Yes. Dog-sitting. I have always been a fan of dogs (Canis lupus familiaris), so when my wife told me we were temporarily adopting her mother’s pup, my heart may have slightly jumped out of subtle excitement. Her name is Lacie and she is a 1/2 Maltese + 1/2 toy poodle, which = “Malte-poo”. In addition, this pooch is probably one of the cutest ones on the planet (yes, I did write “cutest”) so she’s easy to like. She looks like a rabbit when she runs. Who doesn’t like rabbits? Exactly. Moving on. The most important piece of intel I gathered through my experience is that I really like dogs when they aren’t MY responsibility. When it’s your dog I’m hangin’ with, it’s good times. Relaxing, good talks, hop-scotch, sun bathing, ice cream sundaes, camp outs, etc. When the mongrel is MY responsibility at MY house, I turn into Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermy.

The problem I ran into is that I do not have near as much energy and time to do everything the dog wants to do. Every 2 minutes it’s like “Uncle Chad, play catch with me!” or “Uncle Chad, wrestle with me!” or “Uncle Chad, feed me!” or “Uncle Chad, take me out for a poopie!”. If dogs could talk that’s what she was saying. I tried to enjoy a relaxing afternoon before we went out for my friends party. I am sitting on the couch while my wife is studying, and Lacie is sprinting, twirling, jumping, and squeaky her squeaky toy at a raging 82 squeaks per minute. I am slightly nettled at this point and ask her to quiet down and watch the game with me. She gives me the look of the annoying 3rd grade kid thats speaks without words, “I don’t have to listen to you, you’re not my dad.” She continues to frolic regardless of my tone. Steph suggests I take her outside for a second to burn off some energy and mark her territory. I agreed.

I knew the moment I exited the apartment that this was going to take much more than a second. Lacie darts down the stairs and gives me another look like, “I’ll see ya in anotha life brotha!” I think to myself, “Oh, great.” I follow her down the stairs and watch her run around the grass, sniffing plants, bugs, dried leaves, and her fecal material from the night before. I try to play it cool and put out that vibe like, “I don’t care if you run away, I’m just relaxing.” All the while she can see right through me. She knows I’m thinking, “Please don’t run. Please don’t run. Please don’t run.” After about 6 minutes I figure it’s about time to start reelin’ this thing in. I gently roll off a couple “Let’s go Lacie”’s to get her attention. She doesn’t even acknowledge. I repeat a little louder. Still nothing. I find myself at a crossroads. I have two options. 1) I abort the immediate exit strategy, prentend it never happened, and try again in 5 minutes. 2) Put my foot down, let her know I am in charge, and call in the artillery. I choose the latter. R. Lee Ermy time. I raise my voice and demand her attention. She trots in my direction. “Wow, that was easy.” Wrong. I take one step towards her and she bolts in the opposite direction. Sprinting. What have I done?! I begin to yell louder. I am getting angry. Answer me dog!! She is running. I am following. More running. Crap. This sucks. I take a break to assess what has happened. It’s about 95 degrees outside and I am now roughly 75 yards away from where we started. Sweat, and lots of it. Lacie is 10 yards from me, but I can’t get any closer. At this point I look her in the eyes and say, “I don’t like you right now.” I turn and walk back.

I refuse to look back. I get to the staircase, stop and turn. Lacie is right behind me. What?! I slowly walk up the stairs and for some reason she is right behind me. We make it to the apartment and inside we go. I am sweaty and frustrated. I look at Steph with pain and personal anguish. “I am never doing that again”, I say. I explain to her what had happened and the lack of respect of recieved. She explains how Lacie, weighing in at a whopping 4 lbs., was most likely frightened by the 6 ft. tall sasquatch with the loud voice and his hands waving in the air. “I would have run, too!” she says.

Looking back I had a pretty good time with the ol’ chap. Despite the fact that she doesn’t listen to me, she was an enjoyable guest at the house. Next time, Steph will take her out for a second.